everyday's tidbits

Friday, December 30, 2005

Urinate standing up

I went home very late today. Rain fell heavily. I was in Km 6 terminal, waiting as usual. The vehicle is rather crowded, this time. Suddenly a cute-faced small boy aged around 3 said to his mom:
“Ma, handak bekamih!”
“Kada kawa keluar mama nah, sasak banar, sana bekamih saurang jan di luar.”
“Ya sudah, tahani ai.”
“Aaaa, kada kawa.”
“Makanya lakasi jan, bekamih di belakang taksi tu nah.”

The kid can’t hold it, poor kid, so finally he went out. And urinating behind one of the other public transport cars, standing up, like boys do. Yuck. Even he is cute and would be very sexy in his adulthood (pedophile-mode), still: yuck!

(Free translation:
“Mom, I want to pee.”
“Mom can’t get out, too crowded, you go out by yourself and relieve yourself out there.”
“No, I don’t want to…”
“Then just hold it until we got home.”
“Aw, I can’t.”
“Hurry up then, relieve yourself behind that taxi over there.”)

There is two things I can’t stand about this event.
1. Urinating in the eyes of the public, and not in the proper place.
2. Urinate standing up.
There, now you know I am a female. Females don’t do those two things.

Urinating near the tree, behind an uninhabited building, at the corner, in the bushes, there are no limit where boys and men can do that nature’s call. And I am not just talking about uneducated persons. What I am talking about includes all mankind. What’s with them? Why can’t they act like females do, find the nearest mosque (which always have restrooms, although the hygiene are not guaranteed) or the nearest gas station (which lavatories are even more dangerous in terms of your urinary and genital tracts). Men have a much much longer urethra (the tube connecting the bladder with the outer world) than women, make them can hold urine a little longer than women (similar age, while they are in their reproductive ages). The explanation of this practice could be that men are too lazy, used to do “survival” kind of things when it’s not the proper time and place. Or maybe they are born to be exhibitionists *grins* They are just too happy to show their private parts, especially when the measurements are something to boast of.

That’s why men usually have common bathrooms. I even heard of a pissing match, a match to establish who can pee the farthest. Jeez.
And this habit of urinating at any places is related to the number two thingie.

Now, the second thing. Urinate standing up.
I think, first time, boys, like girls, are taught to urinate sitting down or squatting. I don’t know where the standing up position comes up. Did they learn that from their friends? I remember I saw boys did that in public at school when I was in my elementary, they did that directly over the river (my school has a river going through the middle of our school complex). At that time, I already think it’s not proper. And kinda messy. You had to aim right. And in the end, they usually didn’t clean it up, so I imagine the pants would be soiled with the remnants of urine, which smell I can’t stand. I was grown up by my granny with the hard lesson to be hygienic. A small dot of something dirty on my clothes could cause her mumbling all day, made my ears felt swollen. So, the ignored cleanness of the urination process of the boys was just clogging my head.
Urinating standing up also means that they splatter urine everywhere if they don’t aim right. And they rarely flush. If they flush at all, they use a small amount of water, so the smell lingers. I can’t stand urine smell, especially from men who smokes or drink a lot of coffee.

With all that disadvantages of urinate standing up, why don’t do that sitting down/squatting? You can read, smoke, or even doze off (careful…) if you want to. There will be no mess because of the splatters. And you tend to flush right when you do that sitting down. Lastly, urinate sitting down/squatting is not a feminine thing. Masculinity does not depend on the position of the urination process.


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